People-Pleasing: Why It Happens and How to Stop
Do you say yes when you mean no? Do you apologize for things that aren't your fault? People-pleasing isn't really about being nice, it's often a response to deeper fears of rejection or conflict. While it might keep the peace short-term, it leaves you feeling resentful and disconnected from your authentic self. Learn why this pattern develops and discover practical steps to break free.
Finding My Voice After Years of Silence
Staying quiet to keep the peace might feel like the easiest choice in the moment, but that silence often comes at a hidden cost. If you've ever left a family gathering with a pit in your stomach, wishing you'd spoken up, you're not alone. Self-silencing is a learned survival strategy but the conflict doesn't disappear when you stay quiet, it just shifts inward. Discover why speaking up matters and how to start honoring your voice without guilt or fear.
Your Brain Lies to You And Does It Convincingly
Ever wonder why your brain convinces you of things that aren't quite true? From catastrophizing small mistakes to believing everyone's judging you, your brain has a habit of distorting reality. The good news? These mental distortions are completely normal, and understanding them is the first step toward managing anxiety, depression, and negative thought patterns. Learn why your brain lies to you and what you can do about it.
Why Do I Feel Anxious for No Reason? Understanding Unexplained Anxiety
Feeling anxious … for no reason? You’re not alone. That racing heart, the tight chest, even when nothing obvious feels wrong, there is a reason, even if it isn’t obvious in the moment.
In our new post, we explore how small, hidden triggers, physical changes, or unresolved stress can sneak in and spark anxiety. Learn to pause, breathe, ground yourself and uncover what your anxiety might really be telling you.
Why Do People Get Upset When You Set Boundaries?
You’ve finally said “no” when you meant it or asked for what you need and the reaction was worse than you imagined: guilt, anger, even hurt feelings. Why do boundaries trigger such strong responses?
In this post, we explore how setting limits can shake up old patterns. People might react badly because they’ve been benefiting from your lack of boundaries, or because limits feel like rejection even when they’re not meant that way. Your boundaries aren’t selfish. They’re essential for your mental wellbeing.
Learning to Let Go of the Fear of Judgment
The fear of being judged is something most of us experience at some point. For some, it’s a fleeting worry. For others, it’s a heavy burden that shapes everyday decisions, relationships, and their self-worth. This fear can become so ingrained that we start living our lives for other people, by watering ourselves down, staying quiet, and avoiding risks that might draw attention or criticism.
The reality is that at some point, we’re all going to be judged, for something by someone, whether it be for how we look, how we parent, how we speak, or how we live. We are all open to being negatively affected by something that someone else says or does this potential outcomes makes us feel vulnerable or even exposed.
Why We Worry: Understanding our Brain’s Attempt to Keep Us Safe
We’ve all experienced it, that uncomfortable knot in your stomach, racing thoughts, or that uneasy feeling in your chest when something is about to happen, and you’re not sure if your going to be okay or not. Will things be okay? Will I be able to handle it? Will the worst-case scenario come true?
At the heart of these questions is uncertainty, and our minds don’t particularly like uncertainty. It feels like a threat. When we're not sure what will happen, our brain goes into protective mode, often pulling us into cycles of worry in an attempt to regain a sense of control or safety.
How to Deal with Guilt when Setting Boundaries
Many women feel guilty when they set a boundary because it’s confusing to the psyche. Normally, when we do something wrong, we feel guilty about it. This is an appropriate and helpful when it comes to correcting behaviors that goes against our value and intentions.
However, many women report feeling “bad” when they are simply taking care of themselves, facing conflict, or setting healthy limits. (A lot of women I talk to have a much easier time setting boundaries for their kids or for others than they do for themselves.)
Why is that? I think it’s a combination of factors, in particular the social construct of self-sacrifice which is present for women at all times, even when we are unaware of it.