The Myth of New Year, New You: A Therapist's Perspective on Sustainable Change
The “New Year, New You” narrative promises transformation through willpower alone but often leads to burnout and self-blame. This post explores why real, sustainable change is slower, gentler, and rooted in self-compassion rather than pressure or perfection.
When Grief Meets the Holidays: Navigating Loss During 'The Most Wonderful Time of Year'
The holidays can intensify grief, bringing waves of sadness, longing, and exhaustion at a time when joy is expected. This post explores how loss shows up during the holiday season and offers gentle ways to care for yourself while navigating grief.
The "Blue Mind" approach: Finding Calm Amidst Holiday Chaos
The holidays can feel loud, overwhelming, and emotionally draining especially for those who struggle with anxiety or people-pleasing. The Blue Mind approach offers a grounded way to calm your nervous system, set gentle boundaries, and find steadiness amidst the holiday chaos.
5 Ways to Protect Your Mental Health During the Holiday Season
The holiday season is often painted as joyful and magical but for many, it also brings stress, anxiety, family tension, and emotional overwhelm. If this time of year feels heavy for you, you're not alone. In this post, we explore five practical ways to protect your mental health during the holidays, including setting boundaries, managing expectations, creating supportive routines, and preparing for tough moments. These strategies can help you move through the season with more clarity, calm, and compassion for yourself.
Emotional Regulation in an Age of Overstimulation
In today’s fast-paced, always-on world, our brains are constantly overstimulated, no wonder we feel tense, distracted, and emotionally drained. Emotional regulation is no longer just a wellness trend; it’s a vital skill for navigating modern life. Learn what happens in your brain when you’re overwhelmed and discover simple, science-backed ways to calm your nervous system, reduce overstimulation, and build lasting emotional resilience.
Building Emotional Resilience at Work: Your Guide to Thriving Under Pressure
Overflowing inbox, impossible deadlines, constant stress, workplace stress can be overwhelming. But emotional resilience isn't something you either have or don't have; it's a skill you can develop. Learn why resilience matters now more than ever, how to recognize your stress signals, and discover practical strategies to bounce back from workplace challenges while protecting your mental health.
People-Pleasing: Why It Happens and How to Stop
Do you say yes when you mean no? Do you apologize for things that aren't your fault? People-pleasing isn't really about being nice, it's often a response to deeper fears of rejection or conflict. While it might keep the peace short-term, it leaves you feeling resentful and disconnected from your authentic self. Learn why this pattern develops and discover practical steps to break free.
Finding My Voice After Years of Silence
Staying quiet to keep the peace might feel like the easiest choice in the moment, but that silence often comes at a hidden cost. If you've ever left a family gathering with a pit in your stomach, wishing you'd spoken up, you're not alone. Self-silencing is a learned survival strategy but the conflict doesn't disappear when you stay quiet, it just shifts inward. Discover why speaking up matters and how to start honoring your voice without guilt or fear.
Your Brain Lies to You And Does It Convincingly
Ever wonder why your brain convinces you of things that aren't quite true? From catastrophizing small mistakes to believing everyone's judging you, your brain has a habit of distorting reality. The good news? These mental distortions are completely normal, and understanding them is the first step toward managing anxiety, depression, and negative thought patterns. Learn why your brain lies to you and what you can do about it.
Why Do I Feel Anxious for No Reason? Understanding Unexplained Anxiety
Feeling anxious … for no reason? You’re not alone. That racing heart, the tight chest, even when nothing obvious feels wrong, there is a reason, even if it isn’t obvious in the moment.
In our new post, we explore how small, hidden triggers, physical changes, or unresolved stress can sneak in and spark anxiety. Learn to pause, breathe, ground yourself and uncover what your anxiety might really be telling you.
Why Do People Get Upset When You Set Boundaries?
You’ve finally said “no” when you meant it or asked for what you need and the reaction was worse than you imagined: guilt, anger, even hurt feelings. Why do boundaries trigger such strong responses?
In this post, we explore how setting limits can shake up old patterns. People might react badly because they’ve been benefiting from your lack of boundaries, or because limits feel like rejection even when they’re not meant that way. Your boundaries aren’t selfish. They’re essential for your mental wellbeing.
Learning to Let Go of the Fear of Judgment
The fear of being judged is something most of us experience at some point. For some, it’s a fleeting worry. For others, it’s a heavy burden that shapes everyday decisions, relationships, and their self-worth. This fear can become so ingrained that we start living our lives for other people, by watering ourselves down, staying quiet, and avoiding risks that might draw attention or criticism.
The reality is that at some point, we’re all going to be judged, for something by someone, whether it be for how we look, how we parent, how we speak, or how we live. We are all open to being negatively affected by something that someone else says or does this potential outcomes makes us feel vulnerable or even exposed.
Why We Worry: Understanding our Brain’s Attempt to Keep Us Safe
We’ve all experienced it, that uncomfortable knot in your stomach, racing thoughts, or that uneasy feeling in your chest when something is about to happen, and you’re not sure if your going to be okay or not. Will things be okay? Will I be able to handle it? Will the worst-case scenario come true?
At the heart of these questions is uncertainty, and our minds don’t particularly like uncertainty. It feels like a threat. When we're not sure what will happen, our brain goes into protective mode, often pulling us into cycles of worry in an attempt to regain a sense of control or safety.
How to Deal with Guilt when Setting Boundaries
Many women feel guilty when they set a boundary because it’s confusing to the psyche. Normally, when we do something wrong, we feel guilty about it. This is an appropriate and helpful when it comes to correcting behaviors that goes against our value and intentions.
However, many women report feeling “bad” when they are simply taking care of themselves, facing conflict, or setting healthy limits. (A lot of women I talk to have a much easier time setting boundaries for their kids or for others than they do for themselves.)
Why is that? I think it’s a combination of factors, in particular the social construct of self-sacrifice which is present for women at all times, even when we are unaware of it.